Beowulf Meets Godsylla

Beowulf Meets Godsylla:

"Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,     monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,     hie luccen for fyht."

I stumbled across this a day or so ago, but I could not remember where, so I googled it and found this.  The article has a link to the original source, a book on Amazon.com, which I intend to add to my already too large queue of reading material.

Your mileage may vary, but I found this hilarious.  As one who has made efforts of wading through Beowulf n the original Klingon, it displays the structure of Beowulf (i.e. each line with two sections along with alliteration)

Tolkien geeks may note the the Book of Unfinished Tales has several chapters written in Old English, including much of what was eventually published as The Sillmarillion.

'via Blog this'

It's that time again! Arrrrrr!

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLPD) where we're all encouraged to talk like a pirate to whatever degree one's surroundings permit. I will be participating at our county's Heritage Days pretending to be a Lewis and Clark expedition member, so my opportunities will be limited.

The ITLPD website has a page on how to talk like a pirate in German, so I leave you with this:

"Eine steife Brise in den Segeln und immer eine Handbreit Wasser unter dem Kiel"

Most of the words are direct cognates of their English equivalent, so I won't bother translating.

---

BBC NEWS | Eco-sailors rescued by oil tanker

Eco-sailors rescued by oil tanker:

"An expedition team which set sail from Plymouth on a 5,000-mile carbon emission-free trip to Greenland have been rescued by an oil tanker. ..."

How ironic....

And they have been gracious in expressing their gratitude.

A Great Typo!

I was perusing our church worship bulletin Sunday, and I noted that the music for the early service included some variations on "The Strife is On" and made reference to hymn 119 in the Presbyterian Hymnal.

I suppressed my urge to snicker and tried mightily to restore a worshipful attitude for the remainder of the service.

Was someone thinking of the various controversies in the PC(USA)?

In any event, it is one of the great hymns of the Church, and I think the words are appropriate for the season:

The strife is o’er, the battle done;
The victory of life is won;
The song of triumph has begun: Alleluia!

The powers of death have done their worst;
But Christ their legions hath dispersed;
Let shouts of holy joy outburst: Alleluia!

The three sad days are quickly sped;
He rises glorious from the dead;
All glory to our risen Head! Alleluia!

He closed the yawning gates of hell;
The bars from heaven’s high portals fell;
Let hymns of praise His triumphs tell! Alleluia!

Lord, by the stripes which wounded Thee,
From death’s dread sting Thy servants free,
That we may live, and sing to Thee: Alleluia!

The Presbyterian Hymnal uses stanzas 1, 2, 3, and 5 of those shown above, with minor changes in the 5th stanza. The music is by Giovanni Pierluigi de Palestrina and the words are from a Latin text of the late 17th Century.

Moses is Departing Egypt: A Facebook Haggadah

Moses is Departing Egypt: A Facebook Haggadah:

"The Passover Seder, the oldest continuously observed religious ceremony in the world, tells the story of the Jews' Exodus from Egypt. Jewish tradition says that people of each generation must imagine that they personally had departed from Egypt, and the sages say that each generation must tell the story in its own terms.

The sages probably did not intend this. ..."

Hehehehehe

A friend of mine who is also on Facebook pointed me to this link.

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

These are hilarious! Follow the link above for a checklist that will leave you wondering. Follow the linked image to go directly to the questionnaire.

USB prosthetic finger gives new meaning to thumbdrives | Crave - CNET

USB prosthetic finger gives new meaning to thumbdrives | Crave - CNET:

"This is a story about Jerry Jalava, a Finnish software developer who lost part of his finger in a motorcycle accident last July. According to his friend, Henri Bergius, when the surgeon assigned to work on Jalava's prosthetic finger discovered his hacking history, he made a clever suggestion: incorporate a USB key into the new digit. ..."

This is just a little creepy. And I am a professional geek.

I can just see it:

Hey -- can I get a copy of your PowerPoint?

Sure, you got a thumbdrive?

Yep, right here....

[various and sundry expletives deleted here]

Uh -- where can I get one of those?

Presbyterian Outlook: We are the Presbyterians

We are the Presbyterians

Swallow your coffee BEFORE you start reading this....

Austin road sign warns motorists of zombies | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News

Austin road sign warns motorists of zombies | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News:

"An Austin road sign meant to warn motorists about road conditions instead read: 'The end is near! Caution! Zombies ahead!'"

Some people have too much time on their hands.

Of course, this is a caution to (1) secure the input; and (2) change the default password, which is apparently well-known.

Arrrrrrr -- I almost missed it!

Today is "Talk Like Pirate Day" and I nearly missed it...

It seems that the Cap'n told us we had to move from the promenade deck to the bilge for reasons that hardly make sense, but since when has that been a constraining factor at my place of employment? Actually the Cap'n was told by people above that the move had to take place today. We have been expecting it for a while, but as we looked at the progress of the renovations in the bilge -- errr -- basement, we didn't see it coming this week.

So given the choice between moving and walking the plank, I lost my cubicle with a real window (which I enjoyed for the last four years) and am now in a windowless basement room with a cubicle, no cell service, and my favorite classical radio station can't break through the concrete foundation. I am thankful for streaming audio and gigabit ethernet.

Well, I did a lot today, but not much in the way of fulfilling my job description....

Well, enough bellyaching. Time to belay the talk of mutiny and settle into the new crew quarters.

This is "bilge rat" signing off.

Scientists start world's biggest physics experiment | Science | Reuters

Scientists start world's biggest physics experiment | Science | Reuters:

"GENEVA (Reuters) - International scientists celebrated the successful start of a huge particle-smashing machine on Wednesday aiming to recreate the conditions of the 'Big Bang' that created the universe.

Experiments using the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the biggest and most complex machine ever made, could revamp modern physics and unlock secrets about the universe and its origins. ..."

Well, we're still around. Unless the view from inside a black hole is the same as the real world...

Of course, this was just a one-way acceleration of protons. The fun stuff will take place in the weeks and months to come when they will actually "cross the beams."

The Audiophiliac - A high-end audio blog from Steve Guttenberg - CNET News.com

The Audiophiliac - A high-end audio blog from Steve Guttenberg - CNET News.com:

"Back in 1957 Time magazine reported on 'audiophilia,' a disease that afflicted the 'middleaged, male and intelligent' and found them to be compulsive and fascinated with bizarre sounds. Hey, that describes me! ..."

This Steve Guttenberg is not to be confused with the Police Academy actor of the same name. This one writes on topics related to high-end audio. Go ahead and follow the link to the 1957 Time article -- it's hilarious.

I can remember the "hi-fi" we had during the era. Fifty some years later I have passed through vinyl, cassettes, CDs and now CDs converted to MP3 and loaded on a pocket-sized player that holds the equivalent of several hundred pounds of 12" vinyl recordings, not to mention voice recordings, digital images, and even full-length movies.

Dave: Quite Interesting Facts: World's ten oldest jokes

Dave: Quite Interesting Facts: World's ten oldest jokes:

"8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?' 'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.' (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)"

This has appeared on several blogs, and while I didn't find all the jokes as hilarious as they must have been to the original hearers, they seem to mirror what we find funny today. This one is my personal favorite of the ten jokes listed.

Brain scientists discover why adventure feels good | Science | Reuters

Brain scientists discover why adventure feels good | Science | Reuters:

"LONDON (Reuters) - Scientists have identified a primitive area of the brain that makes us adventurous -- a finding which may help explain why people routinely fall for 'new' products when shopping.

Using brain scans to measure blood flow, British researchers discovered that a brain region known as the ventral striatum was more active when subjects chose unusual objects in controlled tests. ..."

Interesting. The researchers suggest that seeking out new experiences benefits a species because it may lead to a better quality of life.

But there can be a downside:

"...Being daring, however, also carries risks. Some choices could be dangerous and, in the modern world, selecting the new may, for instance, make consumers susceptible to marketing hype. ..."

OK. So I'm a gadget freak. My ventral striatum temperature rises 10 degrees every time I read about the newest processors or go into Best Buy. It's too bad my wallet can't support my adventurous spirit.

NASA - Moondust and Duct Tape

NASA - Moondust and Duct Tape:

"April 21, 2008: At this year's Great Moonbuggy Race in Huntsville, Alabama, Prof. Paul Shiue of Christian Brothers University was overheard joking that duct tape was his team's 'best engineering tool.' Others felt the same way. The sound of gray tape being torn from rolls practically filled the race course as dozens of college and high school student engineers busily assembled and repaired their homemade moonbuggies.

Little did they know, this was in the finest tradition of lunar exploration. Turning back the clock 36 years reveals the key roll of duct tape in NASA's Apollo program:

The date was Dec. 11, 1972. Astronauts Gene Cernan and Jack Schmitt had just landed their lunar module Challenger in a beautiful mountain-ringed valley named Taurus-Littrow on the edge of the Sea of Serenity. Mission planners chose the site for its geological variety: the ground was covered by a mix of giant boulders, hardened lava, orange glass beads (a sign of ancient volcanic fire fountains) and, of course, ubiquitous moondust. The valley itself was a fracture created in the aftermath of an asteroid impact billions of years ago; the history of the Moon, many suspected, might be written along its walls. Jack Schmitt, the first geologist on the Moon, could hardly wait to get started. ..."

My son will be thrilled. He insists on taking not less than one roll of duct tape on all scout camping trips, and when I looked in his pack last weekend there were two complete rolls of tape. My first thought was that here was a potential for a lot of mischief, but I didn't say anything. (He comes up with enough ideas for deviltry on his own, and doesn't need me to give him ideas). After we returned I noted that the rolls were nearly unused -- a far cry from when he was a new scout and would go through nearly a whole roll of duct tape. It seems he is rapidly maturing, and this is a comfort as Susan and I contemplate the fact that he is now eligible for a learner's permit.

Anyway, this story out of NASA is a fascinating look into the ingenuity and imagination of the people that took us into the space age.

And I'll try to lighten up on my son for his fascination with duct tape.

Apple Sour Over Big Apple's Green Logo

Apple Sour Over Big Apple's Green Logo:

"SAN FRANCISCO -- Apple Inc. (AAPL) says The Big Apple is worming into its territory with a logo the city is using for its green living campaign.

Apple on Friday renewed its challenge to a trademark registration application that New York City filed last May, saying the apple logo was too similar to its own.

Both logos depict a plump apple with a leaf. Apple's logo is white, with its signature bite mark, while New York City's proposed trademark is a green, figure-eight outline reminiscent of an infinity sign, with a stem, and the word 'greeNYC' under it. ..."

It seems to me that Apple Computer has some lawyers with too much time on their hands....

New York City, known widely as "The Big Apple", has pointed out that they were using an apple long before Apple Computer Corporation did. And I would venture to add that most, if not all, of the employees of Apple were born after NYC became associated with an apple. Personally, I'm not all that confused by GreeNYC's use of a stylized apple in its logo.

The city of Manhattan, Kansas must be getting a little nervous at this point, with their nickname of "The Little Apple".

Maybe our friends from Cupertino need to get a grip.

Note: The Apple Computer logo is an image obtained from Wikipedia. The GreeNYC logo came from an Infoworld article on this topic. Both are low-resolution and serve to illustrate a point.

Faith Central - Times Online - WBLG: Number of the Beast

Faith Central - Times Online - WBLG: Number of the Beast:

"The Number of the Beast - 666 in the book of Revelation - sprang into the news when someone noticed that the Parliamentary motion for disestablishment of the Church of England was tabled as no. 666. Meanwhile a poor mad man in the US thought his hand had a 666 on it and microwaved it. If you want a more upbeat take on the number of doom, this delightful US Catholic site offers such variants as those below (sometimes you could just love American bloggers to bits)"

Ordinarily I don't indulge in "666" jokes. Evil is all too real in this world, but most of hoopla about "666" (or "616", depending on what text source is used) is just plain silly to begin with, so I don't see any harm in posting this.

A sampling from the original site:

665 -- the beast's older brother
999 -- the Australian beast
1010011010 -- the binary number of the beast
x/666 -- the beast common denominator

What kind of Muppet am I?

Hmmmmmmm.

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!" You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up. If only your routine didn't always bomb! You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

I am unworthy...

When I was a college freshman in 1970 I decided to grow a beard. It was sparse, confined mainly to the chin, but it was was mine. I took pride in it, while at the same time looking wistfully at my peers, wishing I had their whisker density. You know the kind. Shave at 7am; look like they forgot to shave at noon, and they start looking pretty hirsute by 5pm.

I got tired of it after a few months, and was more or less clean-shaven until 1974 when I decided to have another go at it. This time it looked better, although directly under the chin was a bald spot, and there was a thin line of whiskers extending from the middle of the chin to my lower lip.

I had this beard on and off for the next 20 years, and I think there was facial hair of one kind or another during all that time. The beard filled in nicely, began to gray, and my wife liked it. I shaved it completely about 1994, my wife said "hmmmph", and after a few months I started growing it back, and it has been with me ever since -- sometimes shaped, sometimes growing natural, usually short, but occasionally as long as 3-4 inches.

So here I am in the present with a beard that I enjoy. Note that a side effect of digital imaging is to make one appear MUCH grayer than one really is....

The Reformed Angler, ca. 2005

But then I saw this, and my feelings of inadequacy returned:

Some guy in Great Britain.

I have never seen a double handlebar mustache before.

On further reflection, one of the reasons I keep my facial and head hair short is that it is much lower maintenance. How much time does this guy spend in grooming? Or is this just on special occasions.

Click on the photo of the one with more hair, and you can read the article from which it came.

Calling tech support for help with stolen printer | Tech news blog - CNET News.com

Calling tech support for help with stolen printer | Tech news blog - CNET News.com:

"Sometimes calling tech support can be a real pain--like when you can't get a hard-to-obtain printer that was just reported stolen to work for you.

That's apparently the experience of Timothy Scott Short, who was arrested earlier this month after allegedly stealing a computer and printer used for producing driver's licenses and then calling Digimarc's tech support line a couple of times seeking software for the same model printer, according to a report from IDG. Short was charged with felony possession of 'document-making implements' in connection with the October 5 theft of a PC and Digimarc printer used to print driver's licenses for the Missouri Department of Revenue."

Now this just brings a smile to my face.

Do they give Darwin Awards for people whose stupidity places themselves behind bars for much of their reproductive years?

Instead of making fake licenses, this man will get the opportunity to make genuine license plates. Ironic, isn't it?